So this year has been pretty wild so far. I million things times a hundred have been going on simultaneously it seems! I have experienced so many hills and valleys in my spiritual walk recently, it is more than I know what to do with! But it has also been such a wonderful maturing process.
When we're young. it's very hard to believe the older people when they say that they do know more than you ;) they WERE your age once, they do understand and they do relate to a lot of your feelings. I know it was EXTREMELY hard for me to believe this. I was so wise, so smart, and my relationship with God was flourishing, therefore I would get all my answers from him, and I didn't need any outside opinions....are so I thought. But that's not true. We all need godly advice. It's biblical! Just check out Proverbs! Anyhow, that was definitely a detour from the main point, but a good point none the less :)
Very recently I went through a pretty emotionally dark time of my life. I've been there before, and it's not a pretty place. Thankfully, my relationship with God is a lot stronger than it was last time I visited this valley, and so I felt pretty well anchored through most of it. However, I cannot lie, and I have to admit that my faith was shake in ways it never has been before, and it terrified me honestly. I've just felt very close to the power of Satan as I observed and lived through things in my friends lives. Satan is indeed a MASTER of deception. A lot of my Christian friends seem to be slipping away from their faith, and it makes me doubt whether or not they were ever saved in the first place. I have seen the pull of the world and the convincing show it puts on in new ways that I never understood before. I suppose it comes from being out in the work force and also from getting more intimately involved with my friends in a desire to help them discover the truth! Everyone has their own opinion on truth, the purpose of life, etc. I just never thought I would have to experience such a level of darkness. Suicide, depression, anxiety, doubt, confusion, numbness, and so much more pervade the hearts of countless people, young and old alike. It's scary. And I knew of these things, of course, but when I got so close to them I could taste it, I understood it in a whole new way. God has allowed me to see the power of the darkness, and indeed do not underestimate it's strength and treat it carelessly. But in the end I realized that this ought to take me back to when I was little and I learned that God is bigger and more powerful than Satan. I needed to be reminded of that simplistic truth, because it escaped me when I was staring into the bold face of wickedness, evil and darkness. But when I realized that my God is stronger, bigger and greater than all of this still!!....it renewed my confidence and made even stronger than I was before! Truly, if God be for us, WHO CAN BE AGAINST US?!?!
I read a book around this time that really benefited me, I believe. It's called "This Present Darkness" by Frank E. Peretti. I enjoyed it very much, and it opened my eyes a lot to the reality of spiritual warfare. It was inspiring. There is a sequel that I haven't read yet called "Piercing the Darkness", but I'm working through my stack of books to hopefully finish before college this Fall, and this one is definitely among them!
Sorry for any typos or disjointedness, but to bed I must go! Just wanted to make another valiant attempt to get back at my blogging!! haha. Goodnight, and remember, don't stay stuck in the darkness. We can learn from being there, but it is only a visit, never a move-in situation. God wants you back in the light!! :)
~Hollyberry ;)
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